Recovery In Action | Winter 2020

We live in an information-rich era where it seems like there is more available to us than we can assimilate and process in a lifetime. What I’ve seen, as we are bombarded with this veritable storehouse of data, news, social media and feeds coming at us from all directions, is that there is a wealth of opinions and feelings (many of which are negative) that form as people measure what they are seeing and hearing along with what they know. It’s no wonder that for many, our minds swirl and overflow with automatic thoughts that seem impossible to turn off at any given moment!

Book Recommendation By Noleta Golden

“Journeying Through Grief” Series

By Kenneth C. Haugk

I recently read four short books that were very helpful to me. My niece and her husband were killed in a car accident in October, and I’ve been dealing with a lot of grief and pain. The four books in the “Journeying Through Grief” series have been a comfort and a blessing to me. In fact, I have read all of them over and over again.

The books are called A Time to Grieve, Experiencing Grief, Finding Hope and Healing, and Rebuilding and Remembering. The author, who is a pastor and psychologist and whose wife also died in 2002, emphasizes that when we lose a loved one, grief is a natural, normal, and necessary response. (He also founded a non-profit organization called Stephen Ministries that help people care for each other.) He writes, “If you cut your finger, you bleed. If you lose someone you love, you grieve.” He also states, “You cannot not grieve.”

The author stresses that “no one else can tell you how to grieve.” Even in families who are coping with the loss of the same person, each individual grieves in his or her own way. This was encouraging to me because I thought I was grieving “wrongly.” It was good to realize that crying (even a lot of crying) is normal and okay. In fact, the author encourages having a good cry – as often as you need to. Other family members who are grieving may cry more or less, or for a shorter or longer period of time, but that doesn’t mean that they loved the departed one more or less – just that we are all human and we are all different from one another. Even the same person may deal with one loss differently than with another loss.

Being Trauma Informed

Information taken from “Beyond Consequence’s” by Heather Forbes

By Sharline Thompson

Understanding Challenging Behavior or Dysregulation

When an individual exhibits challenging or negative behaviors it is important to see the situation from their perspective.

Instead of focusing on the behavior and how to change it, focus on…

• What is driving the behavior?
• What can I do to improve the relationship in this moment?

All behavior is a form of communication. Challenging or negative behaviors may tell us that:

• Stress level is too high/overwhelmed
• Recognize that there may be low tolerance for both good and bad stress
• Feelings of fear/unsafe
• In a state of hopelessness, helplessness, and/or powerlessness
• Inability to regulate/need help to regulate
• Has an immediate need that is not being met